What exactly are American Values? With a presidential election seemingly only decades away, this term is being thrown around a lot. Voters want their politicians to have American Values, as opposed to having American Liabilities or Australian Values (they spin the other direction when you flush them down the toilet). Of course, defining something as intangible as American Values can be difficult. So, here’s a simple reference guide of things that are and are not American Values. When you know the difference, you can make the right decision in the voting booth.
Voting?
Voting is NOT an American Value
Blockbusters?
Blockbusters are an American Value
Debt?
Debt is an American Value
Proofreading?
Proofreading is NOT an American Value
Bacon?
Bacon is an American Value
Genital Mutilation?
Genital Mutilation is an American Value
White Supremacy?
White Supremacy is NOT an American Value
Defeating Nazis?
Defeating Nazis is an American Value
Individuality?
Individuality is NOT an American Value
Pootie Tang?
Pootie Tang is an American Value
Velcro?
Velcro is an American Value
Chinese Products
Chinese Products are an American Value
Football?
Football is an American Value
Philandering?
Philandering is NOT an American Value
Phallic Symbols?
Phallic Symbols are an American Value
Southern Cooking?
Southern Cooking is an American Value
High-Fructose Corn Syrup?
High-Fructose Corn Syrup is an American Value
Obesity?
Obesity is an American Value
Swimsuit Competitions?
Swimsuit Competitions are an American Value
Physics?
Physics is an American Value
Creationism?
Creationism is an American Value
Going to Church?
Going to Church is NOT an American Value
Sources: Blockbusters, Voting, Circumcision, Chinese Products, Physics, Creationism, Going to Church